CHIC ROOM :D

Saturday, July 25, 2009 @ 9:45 PM

Inferiority

Went to MOE HQ today for the scholarship tea session... And to my disgust, all the other j2 tt went were from prestigous schools such as rjc,njc,ajc etc. At tt split second, i felt super inferior...i was wondering why should i attend the session in the first place as tts for SCHOLARS. The fact is I can't even do well in my own jc..let alone compete with the cream of the crop out there... It sort of resembles a scenario from the story 'The frog in the well'... I'm copped in tt small well,in the case nyjc, staying complacent... The world out there is far more competitive than wat i experienced in nyjc now.. It's like nyjc is the worst skool out of all the scholars there..and when mi and kejin were supposed to introduce ourselves, mentioning tt we're from nyjc, we just can't hide tt embarrassment on our face...It's a total new experience... in nyjc..it seemed tt we weren't tt bad afterall.. 0815? one of the better class? i don't know. That's wat our teacher always tried to convince us..saying things like we should be confident of ourselves and try to express our views in class more often... I rmbed mr lee mentioned in econs class on thurs.. 'I'm not trying to boost ur confidence but u guys are seriously the cream of the crop in nyjc...why are u guys afraid of sharing ur ans in class.' It did make mi feel slightly proud of myself but tt was all proven wrong after the tea session today.. yeah..cream of the crop IN NYJC...

I guess the best reapings I got from this tea session is a wider perspective... One tt makes mi face the cruel reality out there... I need to grow up and improve more.... I need more confidence... we were supposed to interact and chat with the high-ends officials there... and mi n kejin were pratically silent throughout unlike the students from other prestigous skools.. they were interactive and bold in expressing themselves.. and i got the qns posted,'so what triggers you to be a teacher? It's either a very good teacher u encountered or a very bad one tt makes you feel tt you can do better.' yeah..I answered it..rudely... I'm just trying to be honest and true.... i mentioned things like encountering chem teachers or both extremes... complained a little about mr low..like his rigid and systematic way of teaching... yeah..i just shot it out from my mouth without considering..of cus nt to the extent of wat i did in normal days..did kept so reservations.. mentioned the verbal test tt mr tien conducted...and shared my views on wat a good teacher should possess... but it was seriously terrifying... i can feel myself trembling while sharing the above experiences...

I guess I have to think over wat i really want... had been moving on aimlessly for the past 17 years... I know i like music and fashion..but it's impossible to have them as a career i guess...but maybe it's nt an bad idea to be a fashionable teacher.. pushing off the image tt teachers are nerdy and rigid... yeah.. shall work hard... i want more confidence in expressing myself and also more self discipline in my studies... MF's all in for the challenge!